blog 2018

eccentric observations, cracked opinions, and nonstandard commentary

monday, october 1, 2018

this is a public service announcement

in response to numerous inquiries

i'm announcing today that i am 'not ruling out'

a run for the presidency in 2020

monday, september 17, 2018

the small stuff

it's said, 'don't sweat the small stuff

and it's all small stuff'

but if it's all small stuff

then that's what you should be sweating

friday, september 14, 2018

bad relationship

they say that math isn't something you understand

it's something you get used to

sounds like a bad relationship to me

saturday, july 28, 2018

joke names

gagne witherspoon, ivan ho, jack hammer, helena handbasket, jay walker, jasmine rice, justin tyme, polly esther, rosetta stone

sunday, may 20, 2018

modern opiate of the masses

if religion is the opium of the masses

then royal pageantry is the hallucinogen

sunday, march 18, 2018

cake art

if a wedding cake is a work of art

then how come there aren't any in the louvre?

sunday, february 25, 2018

on fear and restraint

fear causes some cops to shoot and kill unarmed black men

and the same emotion causes other cops not confront active shooters

perhaps we would all be better off if the cops showed more restraint when confronting people who pose no threat

and less restraint when confronting mass murderers

sunday, february 25, 2018


i think it's time to stop calling them accidents

and start calling them inevitabilities

as in, 'there was an inevitability at the intersection of 4th and main'

'the police are on the scene'

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