monday, october 1, 2018
in response to numerous inquiries
i'm announcing today that i am 'not ruling out'
a run for the presidency in 2020
monday, september 17, 2018
it's said, 'don't sweat the small stuff
and it's all small stuff'
but if it's all small stuff
then that's what you should be sweating
friday, september 14, 2018
they say that math isn't something you understand
it's something you get used to
sounds like a bad relationship to me
saturday, july 28, 2018
gagne witherspoon, ivan ho, jack hammer, helena handbasket, jay walker, jasmine rice, justin tyme, polly esther, rosetta stone
sunday, may 20, 2018
if religion is the opium of the masses
then royal pageantry is the hallucinogen
sunday, march 18, 2018
if a wedding cake is a work of art
then how come there aren't any in the louvre?
sunday, february 25, 2018
fear causes some cops to shoot and kill unarmed black men
and the same emotion causes other cops not confront active shooters
perhaps we would all be better off if the cops showed more restraint when confronting people who pose no threat
and less restraint when confronting mass murderers
sunday, february 25, 2018
i think it's time to stop calling them accidents
and start calling them inevitabilities
as in, 'there was an inevitability at the intersection of 4th and main'
'the police are on the scene'