CACTUSPEAR.ORG PRESENTS

blog 2012

eccentric observations, cracked opinions, and nonstandard commentary


monday, december 10, 2012

a t-shirt seen recently

planet enthusiasts agree ...

pluto will always be #9 in our hearts


wednesday, december 5, 2012

the perfect punk concert

poison & anthrax ...

followed by the cure


thursday, november 29, 2012

senior political leadership

the top politicians in the state ...

diane feinstein is 75, jerry brown is 74, and nancy pelosi and barbara boxer are 72 ...

i believe that you should be allowed to serve as long as you're healthy ...

but this is getting ridiculous


tuesday, november 27, 2012

a funeral request

in lieu of donations to my favorite charity ...

send flowers


friday, november 9, 2012

♥ be my embedded biographer ♥

we'll go on long runs together, during which we'll discuss How Great I Am, and after which you will massage my sore feet, and i'll massage yours ...

now taking applications, submit recent photo


tuesday, october 23, 2012

forgetfulness

sometimes i feel like i'm going directly from tabula rasa to the early onset of neurological disease ...

without the usual interval of wisdom or knowledge


saturday, september 15, 2012

taking responsibility

which political party will take responsibility for the decline and fall of the american empire?


tuesday, july 24, 2012

question

if a human can invent a 'germ theory' of medicine ...

then why can't a germ invent a 'people theory' of microbial health?


sunday, june 10, 2012

intelligence

it's only neuron-deep


monday, may 14, 2012

humans inhabiting space

i don't think you can really call it inhabitation ...

until there are space love triangles, space mutiny, space murder


friday, march 30, 2012

stuff they don't teach you in boarding school

how to kick someone out of the drop-in center ...

because they have body odor ...

and do it with tact and diplomacy


friday, february 24, 2012

what i miss about typewriters

when you're having a brainstorm ...

and all the typebars get jammed together


friday, february 24, 2012

alternative business model

the beloved free clinic is a lot like many of its clients ...

no visible means of support


saturday, january 28, 2012

friends

the most deflating word in the language


wednesday, january 18, 2012

women's tennis result, just in

'ova defeats 'ova in straight sets


thursday, january 12, 2012

birthday

i'll turn four cubed this year ...

my sixth and hopefully last power of two ...

my next goal is three to the fourth


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