CACTUSPEAR.ORG PRESENTS

blog 2010

eccentric observations, cracked opinions, and nonstandard commentary


sunday, november 21, 2010

pope allows condom use

i liked the fifteenth-century popes better ...

they stuck to what they knew best ...

like potions, angels, and curses ...


tuesday, november 16, 2010

political cliches that need to be retired

aid & abet; aid & comfort; checks & balances; clear & present; cut & run; free & fair; hearts & minds; law & order; waste, fraud & abuse ...

talk to me; tell me in concrete terms what you mean ...


sunday, october 24, 2010

another headline for the onion

conservative religious scholars combing through jesus's words ...

for any hint of a marxist influence ...


friday, october 22, 2010

speaking truth to power

will someone please retire this cliche?

power doesn't care what you think or say ...

that's what it means to have power ...

never having to care what people think ...


tuesday, october 5, 2010

multi-alarm fire

sirens are like wolves ...

when one starts howling, they all do ...


thursday, september 30, 2010

indigenous peoples month?

how about an indigenous peoples century ...


wednesday, september 29, 2010

new section in the newspaper

the sports crime page ...


monday, september 20, 2010

proposed book title

'the migratory habits of human beings'


monday, september 20, 2010

headline for the onion

or the nytimes, i can't decide which ...

'suspected drone allegedly kills presumed human beings'


tuesday, september 14, 2010

tom swiftie

'i don't feel too good today'

he said (sic) ...


thursday, august 26, 2010

tani cantil-sakauye

first minority chief justice, by race ...

and first majority chief justice, by gender ...


thursday, july 22, 2010

headline for the onion

president chavez breaks off diplomatic ties with venezuela ...


saturday, july 10, 2010

bozo eruption?

if a woman accusing a man of sexual impropriety is called a 'bimbo eruption' ...

then a male accuser should be a 'bozo eruption' ...


sunday, may 2, 2010

headline that didn't make the onion

editorial: disasters need tv just as much as tv needs disasters ...


tuesday, april 20, 2010

practice makes perfect

we're always being told that the more you do something ...

the better you get at it ...

what about bad drivers ...

just doing more driving doesn't make them better ...

the same with bad teachers ...


sunday, april 18, 2010

headline that didn't make the onion

politician accused of politicizing the political process ...


thursday, april 15, 2010

the design of public places

the downtown berkeley bart station looks like it was designed by the same guys who did the experiments with rats in cages ...


monday, april 12, 2010

no regrets

don't you love it when someone says ...

'i have no regrets' ...

that's like saying, 'i've never learned anything in my whole life' ...

what about all those people you hurt ...

would you hurt them again?


saturday, april 10, 2010

law of conservation of k's

every time someone says 'axe a question' instead of 'ask a question' ...

or 'eck cetera' instead of 'et cetera' ...

someone else has to say 'assessible' instead of 'accessible' ...


wednesday, march 10, 2010

a building at ground zero that's 1776 feet tall

very patriotic, very moving ...

but it should stand even taller at 1789 feet ...

celebrating the constitution and the bill of rights ...


thursday, march 4, 2010

falling expectations

i used to be for peace ...

now i'm just for lengthening the interval between wars ...


tuesday, february 9, 2010

another headline for the onion

'statistical link found between loud music at 3 am and anger' ...


monday, january 4, 2010

headline that didn't make the onion

'senate republicans finally reach 41-seat majority' ...


monday, january 4, 2010

how come dolphins are people

but people are never dolphins?


cactuspear home
comments to comments at cactuspear dot org